Part 1: First impressions
As cliché as it is there’s a lot of truth in the statement that you never get a second chance to make a first impression and that statement is never truer than in the world of would be romantic relationships so without too much hoopla here’s “50 first dates: The best damn first impression ever” edition.
1. All’s fair: I’ve never been to a county fair I didn’t like. I mean who can argue with the smells of funnel cake and kettle corn coupled with midway games and rides. Note that I say all of this even with my motion sickness and aversion to overpaying for anything. My point (and I do have one) is that (almost) everyone likes the fair and it’s a good way to have some good clean fun without breaking the bank and chances are that if you look like a big dork because you’re unable to win some giant stuffed bear that your date will think it’s cute as opposed to labeling you a loser.
2. Going Dutch: There are definitely some old fashioned chicks who are going to disagree with me on this but I believe that going Dutch can be a good way to make sure a first date is fab. If both parties know they’re going to be paying their own way then it eliminates any expectations (or the thoughts of them). With the financial pressure lifted it allows for everyone to breathe a little easier which means that you may actually get that end of dinner joke out as opposed to choking over the bill when you realize that what your date ordered was indeed as overpriced as it sounded.
3. Class acts: Maybe you’re a whiz at whipping up the perfect meringue or take out of this world photos (in the case of the latter drop me a line), what better way to make a good impression then to show off such a skill by taking a one day class with your potential paramour. The key here is to dilute whatever ego you may have and genuinely have fun. On the other hand if you’re looking to learn something new and think your chosen hottie may be into this new hobby then you can of course take that course on vegetarian cooking together. Check your local college for non credit classes as a starting point.
4. Karma chameleons: Your passionate about saving the whales and your would be bf or gf has similar ambitions so why not combine your efforts. By coming together for a common goal early on you get to show just how committed you can be to something which trust me is a good thing, plus you help the planet in some way in the process so it’s a total win-win situation.
5. B-I-N-G-O: I’m almost 100% certain that brawls don’t break out in Bingo halls and the chances of your date ogling another person and trying to keep tabs on their card(s) is slim to none so it’s likely that this’ll be a stress free sort of date and one that’ll allow you and your intended not only a bit of good, clean competitive fun but also the chance at winning a snazzy prize.
6. Tourist Trapped: Most people who live some place for a set amount of years over time cease to be amazed by it (don’t believe me: ask a native New Yorker the last time they went to the Statue of Liberty or had pastrami on rye at Katz deli), this date allows you to recapture some of that lost wonder. Find a part of your city that’s famed for tourists and go there with your date to wander around. If it’s a well known tourist spot chances of getting lost are minimized since it’s bound to near mass transit and even if you do get a little misdirected it doesn’t look bad on your part since you’ve never been there. As a bonus even if things don’t work out in the long run at least you’ll have experienced something new.
7. The no blame game: Everyone whose ever been on a date with someone new knows that part of the awkwardness stems from having to pick a place to go and something to do because if you’re the one who made the decisions and the date bombs it becomes your fault. To avoid that let fate decide for you, here’s how: about 10 minutes pre date have the lucky love object come over and make sure you have a copy of your local phone book handy. If you’re looking for a restaurant flip to those pages (most are organized by food style). You may want to rule certain things out like if your date’s allergic to something like tomatoes then pizza and pasta places are huge no-no’s. Once that’s done flip open the book and where your finger lands is where you go, if that place is too far or too expensive then go to the place two names down or three names up, or one name over-whatever just make sure this is clear BEFORE you start so no one accuses anyone of cheating.
Part 2: All my single ladies
I once saw a t-shirt that said “February 14th also known as ‘Single’s awareness day’”. Aside from being deliciously tickled I was also highly inspired. Since the beginning I (a perpetually single twenty-something female) have catered to the whims of the coupled. Well (for this issue anyway) I say “No more!” Forget a nerve wracking blind date that’ll begin in awkward silence. Stay away from the half pound boxes of chocolate and don’t you dare spend the evening alternating between channel hopping and chanting affirmations. After all such activities can lead to no good and I know that each and every one of you is a really great person at heart. So my single peers now’s the time to shake off past hurts and hurtle boldly into the future so without further ado let me welcome you to 50 first dates “now minus the dates” edition. Oh and for those of you comfortably coupled I didn’t forget about you: grab dinner and a movie and keep you PDA’s to a minimum.
1. Not so extreme makeover: This is partially inspired by my newly single best friend (love you Ida) who’s super cute but thinking about a new look. When you’re not attached to someone is a good time to go through these changes, after all it’d suck to find out that your bf was mainly interested in your long hair only after you cut of off or that while your gf liked the look of tongue piercings she couldn’t bear to date a guy who actually had one. What can I say people are shallow. Now I’m not insinuating that there’s anything wrong with you but any money bet there’s at least one small thing you want to alter non surgically. Maybe you’re a blonde bombshell looking to be a ravishing redhead or perhaps you’re one of those guys who feels like he’s outgrowing his baggy pants and you want to trade them in for a pair of khaki’s. Whatever the case may be now’s as good a time as any to go for it.
2. Table for one: I can genuinely say that I like my own company (which I guess is a good thing since I’ve got no choice but to be with myself 24 hours a day). Gone are the days when it was unheard of for a man or woman to dine alone publicly and it’s possible to do so without getting pitying stares or shocked looks. Go out and grab a bite solo and I’m not talking about something from a cart but a real sit down meal oh and unless you’re a masochist do this one on any other day but the 14th of February when everything is overpriced and you’ll be surrounded by couples and are therefore bound to get at least one contemptuous look.
3. Shake your moneymaker: It’s a known fact that there are certain things which while perfectly acceptable for a single female are clear no no’s once that same woman has found her potential future life mate. One thing definitely on that list is anything along the lines of wet t-shirt contest. While I’m not advocating that anyone go out and do something worthy of “Girls gone wild” I am saying that if you’ve got something a little risqué that you’ve always wanted to try the perfect time to do so is when you don’t have a boyfriend because there’s no one to make jealous and no relationship to ruin.
4. The pajama game: Most of us have fond memories of at least one slumber party past. I know that I personally have quite a few and while it’s been a while since I’ve packed my bags for a girls night in or had a few of my female friends over I think it’s time that we all dust off our duffel bags and brace ourselves for a night full of pizza, party games and just getting together in a stress free environment sans work or (gasp) kids (theirs not mine as yours truly isn’t anyone’s mommy). I digress. So while I start dialing I dare you to do the same and set up something-possibly something co-ed if you’re feeling flirty and just feel free to play a few games, grab some fat laden munchies and maybe (just maybe) get some cuddling done in the process although that's beside the point.
5. Spirited Away: There are times when we forget our center, that calm (if not quite happy place) we turn to in times of stress and struggle. When you’re single you’re afforded the opportunity to be more self aware but sometimes you can get so caught up in the pressures of being without a paramour (or in the search for some potential loving) that you lose your personal zen. I challenge you to find a church or yoga class or to let out a primal yell. Even if you don’t feel “lost” it’s never a bad thing to check your path.
6. Lip service: Kissing is magical….when done right (we’ve all encountered that one maniac who tried to suck our souls through our faces or left us feeling like we needed a towel). The beauty of being single is that you can kiss lots of different people if you’re so inclined. So pucker up, grab a pal and make a game of it. I’m not suggesting you swap spit with strangers (but hey if that’s you’re thing carry on-just be sure to check for cold sores and the like), but get a willing partner and see who can go for the longest kiss or the most seductive or some other silliness-the point is to have fun with it.